This may come as a surprise to you but…wait for it…I am NOT a perfect mother.
I drop the ball.
For example, I took Weston to an allergy doctor this morning. I had planned ahead. The diaper bag was packed with all my baby tricks (toys, extra bottle, diapers, etc…). I had looked over my directions to make sure I knew where I was going. I had the baby carrier in the van. I had filled out the paperwork they had sent me and it was safely packed in said diaper bag. I had my coffee in hand and I had actually eaten breakfast. We left on time and got there 20 minutes early. Which is unheard of for me as I am notoriously late. We are the family that is late for church…for the late service.
Anyway…so I had all my ducks in a row right? So far anyway. I found a good parking spot. Weston was happily babbling in his car seat. But, I took one more sip of coffee and reached down to grab my diaper bag and discovered that I had left my diaper bag at home. By the back door. With my insurance card and my ID.
Didn’t have time to go home and it would take months to get another appointment. Awesome.
Thankfully, everything worked out fine. But I hate those moments when I “fail”. When I feel like a “bad mommy”.
A good lesson for me to remember.
Last Sunday was a typical crazy, rushed morning and we were typically late. Singing had already begun and my heart and mind were distracted.
I was trying to get focused on what I was singing about but one of my kids (who shall remain nameless) was being repeatedly disobedient and after repeatedly correcting said child, I was frustrated. How could I sing when I was not focused and having peaceful thoughts? How could I worship when it didn’t feel like I was offering something perfect?
Wait a minute…there’s something wrong here.
And God tugged on my heart in that moment.
When have I ever offered “perfect” worship?
When has God ever required perfect worship?
Answer – never.
So, in that moment I offered up my distracted and frustrated heart to worship God and I found no condemnation.
I was humbled in that moment to think that this honesty was more worshipful than any false perfection…scratch that…pride that I could offer.
How many times have I told others that God wants us to come as we are and here I was needing to believe it for myself.
I do love when I can put all my attention to corporate worship. I love it!
But that is no more of a sweet aroma than when I come with an honest…albeit distracted…heart.
Because when I honestly acknowledge my imperfections, that’s when I can fully experience God’s PERFECT grace.
And that’s so much better than putting on the facade of perfection.