Time has such a unique way of changing your perspective. You no longer have just the emotions and thoughts of the moment. So when I look back four years to my twenty-five year old self sitting in a dimly lit hospice room watching my husband take his last breath, I remember it all so clearly. But time has made it just that. A memory. This day every year has become like my New Year’s Day. It’s a day I remember and reflect.
It was the day that Josiah’s life ended here and his perfect life began.
It was the day that, for the first time, I watched death…and somehow my fear of it was taken away.
It was the day that changed my life in so many ways.
It was an end and a beginning.
And God has been faithful! He has carried me when I was in the desert of my grief. He healed, restored, and made deeper my broken heart. He made Himself known to me in ways I never dreamed.
“I know that you can do all things, and that no purpose of Yours can be thwarted. Who is this that hides counsel without knowledge? Therefore I have uttered what I did not understand, things too wonderful for me, which I did not know. ‘Hear, and I will speak; I will question you, and you make it known to me.’ I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear, but now my eye sees you…” Job 42:2-5
Much was taken away from me…but God has added beyond what I could imagine.
God has brought me a second Love of my Life!
“God is able to do far more than we could ever ask for or imagine.
He does everything by His power that is working in us.” Ephesians 3:20
God has added not one…not two…but three children to my heart!
And when I see this sweet face:
“I know the plans I have for you,” announces the Lord. “I want you to enjoy success. I do not plan to harm you. I will give you hope for the years to come. Then you will call out to me. You will come and pray to me. And I will listen to you. When you look for me with all your heart, you will find me.” Jeremiah 29:11-13
There are no words to accurately describe what’s in my heart except for maybe this…
I vividly remember the first words that I murmured after Josiah died were “Thank You Jesus.”
And those are the words that so clearly ring in my mind and heart tonight.
“Thank You Jesus!”